The deathbed of creativity and growth.
“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.” ― Michael Law
Have you ever felt stuck, stumped, anxious or frustrated at yourself because you know you could be doing SO MUCH better if you could just get out of your own way?
Perfectionism has got to be the #1 block I coach and mentor entrepreneurs through… only because I had to overcome it myself.
Overcoming perfectionism is the key to kicking your business and your income into high gear. Here are 5 keys to help you do just that.
Dare to Be YOU
Authenticity is the new currency in business today, it really is. I hear from more and more people in my workshops and in my coaching practice all the time wanting to market themselves authentically.
The truth is that’s the only thing that works!
People won’t listen to you or your message until they feel understood. If you’ve been through some heart aches and fallen flat on your face and recovered use that in your marketing! Your audience will feel that you really understand them, then they will listen to you.
Too often entrepreneurs are wanting to be so shiny they forget to use what they’ve got to be sticky. I’ll take sticky and engaging any day over shiny and boring. The truth your truth is engaging, but do you have the courage to share it is the question?
Dare to be you with all your imperfections – it’s what makes you interesting and engaging.
Take Massive Action & Get Comfortable with Set Backs
Mastin Kipp had a great post on his Daily Love blog recently about successful people being those people who take massive action, risk failure and get up and try again.
It’s only the fear of failure that prevents you from trying.
One of the biggest themes and stories in my book “From Bankrupt to $900 a Day Selling Mops” is about this very same idea. You won’t die if you fail – I promise, but everyday you procrastinate and let perfectionism keep you from moving forward and saying YES to your dreams and big vision is another victory for fear.
Successful people have gotten comfortable with failure, in fact they look forward to it so they can pull out the gems in learning.
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.” Anne Lamott – Bird by Bird – Some Instructions on Writing and Life
Good Enough is Good Enough
Wayne Dyer said in a recent audio book I was listening to that “the self actualized man doesn’t care what other people think him.” I’m no Buddah but I do like this idea. Suffering is needing everyone’s approval.
Recently I put up a sales page for a 2 day workshop and sure enough I had 2 or 3 emails from people kindly reporting back to me about a few typos in the letter. Oops!
I thanked them.
my workshop was a huge success, regardless of the spelling mistakes – 15 people registered for it.
I can’t tell you how many clients I see suffer and struggle with getting their message out in the world for fear of how people will judge and compare them.
Begin today and get better on the way is my motto. Good enough is good enough, just get er done!
One of my favorite quotes I heard from Adam Urbanski, one of my earliest marketing mentors that stuck with me is a quote from a famous race care driver “If you’re not a bit scared you’re not going fast enough” – Micheal Andretti
It’s a great quote for business because some fear is healthy. If you’re a little afraid it means your on the right track. Fear is the #1 excuse the mind and EGO uses to protect you with. Don’t let it win, move forward and take action anyways, you’ll learn more from your failures than you will from staying in the same place.
Love Yourself Anyways!
I recently read a great book called “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On it” by Kamal Ravicant – a thin quick read with an important message about loving yourself.
I know, I know… it’s so cliché, you hear it everywhere but REALLY how many of us practice the art of self-love?
The one thing society has EPICLY failed at is teaching kids in school how to love.
School systems should have a course called taming the EGO, teaching kids how to deal with and manage this monkey mind that keeps this incessant inner dialog and thoughts of worry and self doubt spiraling to never, never land.
I don’t know about you but my parent’s weren’t perfect. They sure did the best they could but they were far off the mark of being self loving individuals and all of these habits we pick up as kids thinking habits, we play out as adults until we chose to reprogram them 0 they continue to run our lives.
One of the mantra’s Kamal shares in his book is a simple affirmation “ I love you” which he would say to himself all day long hundreds of times a day if not thousands. The book is about how this simple little affirmation turned his whole life around. Simple & profound.
I’m into simple and profound. I don’t have time for long complicated things anymore just give me the nuts and bolts of it.
Watch your mind; watch how it takes you out of love at every chance it gets. You forgot to answer an important email, blame “stupid how could you” your mind whispers. A friend cancels on you last minute for an outing, “there must be something wrong with you, this always happens” your mind says, and on and on it goes.
Here’s a great question I ask myself all day long I’ll share it with you – it helps me to remember to tune back into the love vibration. “No matter what happens, can I choose to be happy & loving regardless?”
Some of my biggest breakthroughs in mindset have come from acceptance, forgiveness and learning how to tune back into loving myself which I discovered from Larry Crane and his amazing Release Technique . Here’s an audio interview from my Transformational Breakthrough Summit On “The Art of Letting Go of Emotions, Subconscious Blocks and Stress – in Minutes Instead of Years!” Listen into to it here for free.
Learning to love yourself anyways no matter what is going on in your life will shift your life & business into high gear in the most incredible ways. Again – they don’t teach you in school the most important things like how to let go of negative emotions, how to be happy and get back to happy when you’re not, and how to tune into LOVE and love yourself.
If you make the decision and take the time to learn how to do that – it’s solid gold baby!
Progress not Perfection
Here’s a piece of interesting info – your mind is working 5 times harder to store negative feedback, says Dr. Jay Kumar, professor of Neuroscience of religion & spirituality.
In fact the human brain has 5 negative thoughts for every 1 positive thought.
Comparing yourself in regards to where you want to be and to your end goal completely discredits everything you have accomplished. I’m going to challenge you to think about yourself in terms of progress.
Don’t think “oh man I’ll never be as good as that expert” instead think “Hmmm what have I done to move my dreams forward in the last 90 days?”. I dare you to take it one step further and make a list of your answers. Energy flows where attention goes.
~ More cool Quotes on Overcoming Perfectionism ~
“When things are perfect, that’s when you need to worry most.” ― Drew Barrymore
“Perfectionism doesn’t believe in practice shots. It doesn’t believe in improvement. Perfectionism has never heard that anything worth doing is worth doing badly–and that if we allow ourselves to do something badly we might in time become quite good at it. Perfectionism measures our beginner’s work against the finished work of masters. Perfectionism thrives on comparison and competition. It doesn’t know how to say, “Good try,” or “Job well done.” The critic does not believe in creative glee–or any glee at all, for that matter. No, perfectionism is a serious matter.” ― Julia Cameron, Finding Water: The Art of Perseverance
To Your Love, Expansion & Freedom,