Are you tired of this happening to you every new year? You make goals and intentions with every ounce of certainly that you will make a change come hell or high water – and then slowly you lose steam, things get too hard, you cave in: you fall short of the diet, cheat on getting your newsletter out on time, spend too much on clothes instead on investments because of a great sale and blow your budget, date the wrong guy for like the hundredth time when you know deep down it’s not going anywhere… Sometimes even just making new goals feels like a big stretch because it brings back all the painful memories of all the goals and all the things you DIDN’T accomplish like you wanted to years prior. It’s like your confidence takes another hit every goal you envision because a part of you is wondering “Am I really able to do that? – Who am I kidding?” The fear starts to creep in slowly, self doubt has you guessing if you made the right decisions, maybe you should be going after something else, something LESS grandiose, something more REALISTIC (gotta love that world!) right?
Well I’m here to tell you that achieving your goals without all the hoopla and intimidating self talk is not only possible, it is very doable if you have the right tool and the right recipe. Making your goals and intentions come true is like baking cake – you need the right ingredients in the right order otherwise the cake may not rise or it might taste a bit funky.
A Critical Ingredient for Success…
When you fall short on your goals and intentions it’s always because of the EGO. Your EGO wants to keep you safe by protecting you with fear, keep you separate and trying to figure everything out so you never really take much action it’s all a bunch of great ideas and “one day I will…” thoughts that bring on more self doubt. Your EGO would have you believe that you are incapable of attaining your goals by comparing you with others who are better than you, more of an expert than you, have more experience than you and on and on it goes. Your friend, the EGO, is always protecting you with FEAR.
It’s nearly impossible to detect this foe the EGO because it hides itself trying to protect you. Your EGO is NOT your friend when, after years of toil and struggle you find yourself still procrastinating starting your new business, finally writing that book you’ve been talking about for so long or launching your new website.
The reason people fail to accomplish goals is because they try and build a big ass foundation on a sticking festering wound. Let me explain….
I see so many people start out the new year with great intentions that fizzle come mid February at best. Why is that, you ask? Because they fail to take into account one critical factor that makes or breaks their success and that is, their emotions.
How Your Emotions Sabotage Your Success
If you let FEAR get in the way of taking action you’ll never get very far and if you look really closely at why your goals and dreams fizzle out it’s always some kind of fear at the root of it isn’t it? What about that pesky self doubt, always keeps you on your toes – “do I go for this or go for that? I don’t know what I REALLY want to do, what’s my passion” ra ra ra it never ends and you never really take much action. If you don’t have your emotions in check, your emotions are running you! And that’s the problem with 99% of the world. Jealousy, anger, fear, greed, pride and other lower emotions are running some very good and kind hearted people into the ground and robbing them of the peace, love acceptance and sheer JOY of living. A big part of the work that I do with my clients is helping them take their power back from these rampant emotions that are playing them like a puppet. Here’s how you can make sure your emotions DON’T get the best of you this year so you accomplish your goals with ease.
2 Ways to Clear The Decks
Write out a list of all the things that happened last year that didn’t go so well or didn’t go how you had anticipated. Relationships that ended abruptly or without explanation, the fight you had with your sister that still keeps distance between you, your car that broke down on a really important day. I want you to make a list of all the *** SHIT*** things that happened to you last year. Then once you have your list, go down through each mention and forgive either the person, or yourself if appropriate and most importantly, send them love. Here’s a link to a fabulous forgiveness process that I’ve helped many of my clients with.
You may think this is weird but if you don’t release the past – it comes back to scratch you until you finally decide to take care of it because your reality is only an out projecting of what you are holding in your mind. Your programs and beliefs store all of that energy in your field. Letting go of this stored up, pent up energy is the way to create space for something new. You can’t fill a glass that is already full, right?
When you LET GO you’re not trying to build a big grandiose new thing on top of an old festering wound or emotional pothole – by letting go and forgiving yourself and others you’re saying “I’m ready for something new” you let go of holding onto the need to be right versus happy.
I recently heard something fabulous that stuck in my brain about how lower vibrations and emotions like anger, rage, fear and loathing also want expression. Mostly what we do when we are faced with unwanted or negative emotions is push them down, stuff them, eat, smoke, drink, or sex them away but they don’t really go away they just keep repeating themselves as patters in your life over and over again like bad re-runs of 3’s company or something.
You can CHOSE…
You can CHOSE to let go of the emotions so that they don’t haunt you anymore. Here’s a great resource I use daily “The Release Technique”– here’s an audio link to an interview I did with one of the founders of the program last year. I think EVERYONE on the planet can benefit from learning the technique. It is the a-z roadmap for how to dismantle and love your EGO away. Brilliant – I highly recommend it if you’re really ready to let go of what’s been holding you back from making lasting, and meaningful change in your life AND to help you let go of any internal resistance you have to taking action on your goals.
And here is one final question for you to help you ease out of any resistance that might be pulling you down. “Would it be ok for you right now if you made the decision to be happy with your life exactly as it is right now, without wanting to change it in any way? Would that be ok?” If your answer is NO – then you’ve got some resistance working against you. Wanting and desire create resistance – whenever you are wanting something you are telling the Universe that you DON’T already have it – you are instructing the Universe to send you more of the lack and wanting. When you let go of wanting you move into having and you move into BEINGNESS – the present moment where you are free to listen to your intuition and guidance, free to take action is that’s fitting or free to take a nap if you’re tired.
May 2013 be the year you connect with all of the love, abundance, expansion and JOY that is already there waiting for you to unwrap.
To Your Love, Expansion & Freedom