If so, you’re not alone. The holidays are supposed to be the most festive time of the year but let’s face it – they’re also notorious for being the most stressful time as well.
C’mon, who doesn’t have an uncle Larry who drinks too much or a cousin who can’t stop mentioning HOW MUCH WEIGHT you’ve gained this year, or an embarrassing relative who is completely socially awkward, right? Sometimes re-connecting with family members is like walking through a minefield – oh JOY to these people who know JUST how to push your buttons.
Add into the mix a healthy dose of GUILT with a capital “G” for the idea that it really “should be a happy festive time of year” and you’re cooking up a recipe for the perfect storm.
No avoiding it – the holidays are emotional.
Here are 3 Tips for avoiding disaster, unnecessary emotional meltdowns and saving your sanity this holiday season by setting healthy boundaries.
1- Make feeling good your first priority & set your intentions beforehand.
Holidays are for celebrating, giving and receiving but what happens when you get into “over” giving mode is that you can easily lose yourself and begin resenting the people around you.
If you have a tendency to be an “over” giver and neglect how you feel – then try something new – try making yourself #1 on your list of priorities and make FEELING GOOD your intention. If you make feeling good more important than getting the presents wrapped on time, more important that getting all the holiday shopping done, more important that rushing here and there to be on time – if you chose YOU in every moment, you’ll find your way back into the flow and life will be easy and the holidays will be a time of enjoyment instead of resentment.
Make the intention in every moment, before you go into celebrate with people, before you meet with your family, before you decorate the tree even, get into the habit of creating intentions for everything and consciously create your reality with ease instead of struggle.
2- Let go of wanting everyone’s approval you’ll never get it anyways.
“The recipe for failure is trying to please everyone” ~ Unknown
I think I’m going to make this one my mantra for the holidays!
Wanting and needing others approval is a sure fire ticket to suffering. I know you want to be a good little girl and good little boy for Santa this year AND I also know that the only person whose tabs on you really count is yours.
Whenever you are faced with a decision that requires your time or energy take a minute to check in with your gut and ask yourself “why am I really doing this?”
Can you allow yourself to live and honor your own rhythm?
Many times you do things because you to want to look good and avoid looking bad. We do things to please others instead of coming across as selfish. This year I give you permission to be selfish and do what you want. Try it – I promise you won’t die.
3- “I’ll have to get back to you about that”.
Don’t feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do and DON’T make any rash decisions.
“Yeah Vanessa, easier said than done – what do I say to family members who are EXPECTING me to do xyz”. Here’s a quick trick to buy yourself some time before you commit to anything you might regret later. Controlling people live and breathe by squeezing you into rash decisions so don’t let them, turn the tables on them by trying this tip and watch them squirm!
Whenever you feel like you’re being asked to do something and that begins forming that tight knot in your stomach because you know you’re going to regret it later –pause and say to them… “You know, I’ll have to get back to you on that”.
Try it – it works. You’re not saying yes and you’re not saying no. If you give yourself some breathing room, often times you can find a way to politely make up an excuse.
I’m setting the intention this year to have a peaceful, restful, easy and joyful holiday season…won’t you join me?
To Your Love, Expansion & Freedom